Sunday, January 6, 2008

Living in Mexico With Lenny and Bubba

I have got the very worst fortune with getting wrong-number telephone calls, no substance what state I dwell in. Believe me, when we moved to Mexico, the job didn't acquire any better.

When we lived in Overland Park, Kansas, the incorrect Numbers started the very twenty-four hours we moved in and had our telephone connected. Someone, no, I intend one thousands of people, began calling for Air-Tech Technologies. The company statute title is a redundancy, I know, and perhaps that's wherefore at least seven states were hunting down the chief executive officer of this concern to beat out him senseless for that name, but no!

Apparently, these yokels sold some kind of constituents for jet plane combatant computerized pilotage systems. The constituent did not work. These people to whom Mr. Ha-Ha-I've-Got-Your-Money sold these faulty micro chips wanted to have got a few words with him, which I am certain meant they wanted to endanger him in the most baleful manner imaginable.

Mr. Air-Tech chief executive officer previously had the figure we were now assigned. The telephone company did not retire his figure when he, of course, wink, wink, changed it.

For 180 days, we received Air-Tech's names from all over the world. Companies in New Seeland and Australian that were looking for this cat were forever forgetting how to cipher the clip differences between Sunflower State and Down Under.

Once, I received a twelve facsimiles from the New Seeland authorities demanding I pitchfork over a refund that I believe was at least 8 digits, or else!

I finally asked person what exactly we were being hounded about. I talked with an Australian newspaper newsman who told me the full scoop. Finally, I called the telephone company. After respective service reps, each of which insisted I retell the narrative for his or her hilarity and enjoyment, changed our telephone set figure for free.

So, here I am thinking that moving to United Mexican States would offer us some alleviation from what I erroneously thought was an American issue-wrong numbers. United Mexican States is even worse!

The current conflict in which we are engaged is for person named "Luis Alvarez." I have got no thought what he's wanted for nor why everyone in all of Latin United States is after him, but this cat must owe everyone money. He must have got signed up for a loan and then didn't do payments, have gambling debts, or at the very least is loved and wanted by all of United Mexican States and seven other Latin American countries.

We acquire calls, and I am not making this up, for Luis Alvarez so many modern times a twenty-four hours that we've lost count. As I am typing these words, the phone, which we had to unplug, is now sitting there unavailable for us to use. If it were plugged in, it would be tintinnabulation off the hook for our good friend, Luis, who must have got got got us as fictional character mentions or something!

I curse to God, I got this phone call at 2:30 am one morning clip last fall:

To salvage time, I have translated it into English.

Mexican: Hello, is Luis Alvarez there?

Me: I am afraid you have the incorrect number.

Mexican: Did I dial 555-5555?

Me: Yes.

Mexican: Then I got the right number. I would wish to speak to Luis Alvarez, please, if it's not a bother.

Me: There is no Luis Alvarez here.

Mexican: But I dialed the right number.

Me: Yes, you did but Luis Alvarez doesn't dwell here.

Mexican: (After a long and pregnant pause) Oh, I see. Well, then, can you travel and acquire Luis Alvarez for me?

Me: Say, what?

Mexican: Can you run to wherever Luis Alvarez is and acquire him to the telephone for me?

Me: You still don't understand. This is not Luis Alvarez's house.

Mexican: Oh, I acquire that. Are you a gringo or something? Never mind. Can you just travel and acquire him?

Me: But, I don't cognize any Luis Alvarez.

Mexican: I am certain he dwells in your Barrio (neighborhood). Can you inquire your neighbours where he dwells and then travel acquire him?

Me: No, I don't believe I can make that.

Mexican: You've got to be a gringo. Ok, Let me inquire you this: Can I go forth a message for Luis Alvarez? When you see him, can you give it to him?

Me: But Iodine don't cognize any Luis Alvarez!

Mexican: ¡Qué Padre!

Me: I am going to hang up now.

Mexican: Ok, Gringo-man, just state Luis Alvarez when you see him that Chucho called.


We were waiting for a telephone call from a friend so we plugged in the phone and forgot it was "HOT!" and ready for "LIVE" Luis Alvarez action!

(This conversation have got been translated from the Spanish for clarity, alacrity, familiarity, and any other "ity" you can imagine...)

ME: Hello?

PERT AND RUDE MEXICANA: I would wish to talk with Luis Alvarez.

A Short Pause in the Action

I have been sitting around planning and plotting most fiendishly for calendar months just how to react to these people. The ground is that they cannot look to grip what "You're reached a incorrect number" means. This is not a Mexican phenomenon. When I was in America, this old lady would always name and take a firm stand on making a hair assignment with me. No substance what I told her, no substance how I pled with her that I wasn't "Get Nailed" Hair, Wax, and Nail Salon, she insisted I take her appointment. To maintain her from hounding me, I get scheduling her in. So, this haps anywhere that have got got phones.

Back to the Action

ME: This is the house of Bower.

PERT AND RUDE MEXICANA: The house is in a shower?

ME: This is a house of Gringos.

PERT AND RUDE MEXICANA: Iodine don't care where you are from; I desire to talk with Luis Alvarez.

ME: We are Gringos from the United States and we don't cognize this guy.

PERT AND RUDE MEXICANA: Rich Person I reached 555-5555?

ME: Yes, but we don't cognize this guy.

PERT AND RUDE MEXICANA: Then why make we have your computer address and telephone figure as his topographic point of residence?

ME: Because, Chiquita, he is a brainsick adult male much like you are a brainsick adult female for failing to grip the conception that ...YOU rich person THE wrong NUMBER!

Now, this would have lagged on for proceedings were it not for a twine of Spanish names that somehow quite miraculously came rushing out of my mouth. I was possessed by the Street-Spanish Demon and cannot be held responsible for what happened next.

She hung up.

I anticipate to begin receiving visitants to my door any twenty-four hours now, with at least two hoods named Bubbito (this is Spanish for Bubba) and Lennito (this is Spanish for Lenny).

They will be looking for Luis Alvarez, of course!

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Sunday, December 16, 2007

Mardi Gras Is A Fun And Exciting Time For A Lot Of People And Can Be More Fun With Crafts

There are many people that observe Mardi Gras every year. They also like to decorate their house somewhat for their celebration. Kids will love to do their ain ornaments for the holidays. There are a batch of trades that they can make and trades are a great manner for the household to be together having fun.

A illumination float is a trade that children will have got a short ton of merriment making. You will necessitate to have got a shoe box, paint, scissors, gum and miscellaneous supplies. You desire to toss the box top down and paint it. It doesn't substance what colour you utilize but if you desire to lodge to the traditional colours of Mardi Gras then you will desire to utilize purple, greenish and gold. You can utilize the eyelid if you desire to but that is optional. If you do make certain it is glued to the box. Use different stores such as as crepe paper or tissue paper, beads, foil, little action figures, thread or glister to decorate your float. Get originative and just have got merriment with it.

This 2nd trade will be merriment and easy to do also. It is a Mardi Gras oculus mask. You will necessitate to happen a templet of a mask. Once you have got a templet you will necessitate to follow it or cut it out and gum it to thin cardboard. Cereal boxes work great for this. Decorate your mask anyway you desire to. You desire to do certain you allow it dry completely. The last measure is to basic a straw or gum a trade stick onto one side of the mask so that you will have got a manage to throw onto. Kids will love making these trades to assist them celebrate.

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Wednesday, December 5, 2007

How to Find Out Cool Dog Names - Easy Steps

Are you ready to happen out cool male child domestic dog names? Great! Would you like to watch TV? Channels like MTV or Animal Planet could be a good resource to happen out domestic domestic dog names, I cognize this could take time, bend on the TV, sit down down, ticker the TV, etc, etc but as you will see, you can happen out great dog name calling watching TV.

But I cognize you are looking for alone and cool male child names, right? Would you like The Simpsons? how about Homer? or how about Bart? or Nelson? I would wish Nelson, this name could be for a brainsick dog, as you cognize when domestic dogs are puppies you can check up on out if the puppy could go brainsick and funny.

For illustration I have got an Old Shepherd Federal Republic Of Germany dog, he is 13 old age old, the name is Otto, yes! He is the Simpsons's autobus driver. My Old Shepherd Federal Republic Of Germany domestic dog is very nice but sometime is angry.

Would you like Mork and Mindy television series? I have got another dog, he is a Boxer domestic domestic dog breed, the name is Orson! He is funny, happy and affectionate.

Would you like the Music? I would wish the old Hood Rock. For illustration I would wish The Ramones, make you cognize them? You can happen out name calling like Dee Dee Random-Access Memory one, or Jhonny Ramone, Joy Ramone or Virgin Mary Ramone, why not Tommy Ramone, anyway as you can see you can happen out Rock music start male child name calling for your small dog.

Do not worry, I cognize you are looking for alone and cool male child domestic domestic domestic dog names, but I have got added a couple of popular and top male child dog name calling for your small puppy friend. How about?

Max, Rocky, Buddy, Jack, Sam, Casey, Toby

As you have got read, there are many ways to happen out male child domestic dog names.

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Monday, November 26, 2007

Free Trivia Questions From Fun Trivia

Question: What is the heaviest snake?

Answer: Anaconda

Interesting Fact: There is a batch of contention over which serpent throws the world's record for monolithic size. The dimensions that have got earned the Eunectes murinus the statute title of male monarch is its sum organic structure mass or weight. While the Asian Reticulated Python (Python reticulatus) throws the world's record for length of a snake, with the longer ever measured at 33 feet, the girth of the Eunectes murinus is far bigger. Anacondas in the jungles of South United States can turn as large around as a adult man!

Question: Who first patented chewing gum?

Answer: Amos Tyler

Interesting Fact: On July 27, 1869, Amos John John Tyler received the first patent of invention in the United States for chewing gum. Although chewing chewing gum had existed for one thousands of years, Tyler, a occupant of Toledo, Ohio, was the first individual to patent of invention it in the United States. Tyler's chewing gum consisted of achromatic resin and olive oil, which he heated up and amalgamated thoroughly. After the mixture cooled, it had a achromatic color. Then, John Tyler cut his merchandise into sticks and packaged each strip individually. There is no grounds that John Tyler ever sold his chewing gum commercially, although he probably at least had a local marketplace for it in Toledo.

Question: When did the Peanuts amusing strip first include Snoopy?

Answer: Oct. 4, 1950

Interesting Fact: Originally a minor figure, Snoopy grew to go the strip's best-known character. His oddities were famous: sleeping on top of his doghouse, pretending he was a WWI aeroplane airplane pilot or Foreign Legionnaire (in costume), showing the ropes to his bird friend, Woodstock, and even playing shortstop on Charlie Brown's sandlot baseball game team.

Question: Who discovered aspirin?

Answer: Edmund Stone

Interesting Fact: The chemical compound from which the active ingredient in acetylsalicylic acid was first derived, salicylic acid, was establish in the bark of a willow tree tree in 1763 by Clergyman Edmund Rock of Chipping-Norton, England. (The bark from the willow tree tree-Salix Alba-contains high degrees of salicin, the glycoside of salicylic acid.) Earlier accounts bespeak that Hippocrates of ancient Hellenic Republic used willow tree go forths for the same purpose-to cut down febricity and alleviate the aches of a assortment of illnesses.

Question: How did debris electronic mail come up to be known as Spam?

Answer: Monty Python "spam" skit

Interesting Fact: Yes, Monty Python and not that cryptic meat merchandise we usually associate with that word. In this popular skit by the British comedy company Monty Python, a grouping of Vikings dining in a eating house sing "Spam, spam, spam" repeatedly, bothersome the other frequenters and making conversation difficult. Gee, wonderment what that have in common with debris email?

Question: How long is a Giant Anteater's tongue?

Answer: 23 inches

Interesting Fact: The great anteater, or emmet bear (Myrmecophaga), have an elongated, almost tube-shaped caput and snout, a long gluey tongue, a coarse-haired organic structure about 4 feet long, and a long, wide tail. The large, crisp claws on the forefeet are arms of defence and are used to open up the difficult Earth hills of white emmets and ants, which are then picked up on the saliva-coated tongue. The lingua widens to a length of nearly 2 feet.

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